Organizing

Life is so hectic right now. So I have had to sit down and re-prioritize. Somewhere along the way I got them mixed up. I tend to be a really organized person. I live for a well thought out plan. Don't get me wrong; I am open to stepping outside the box and do so often, too often. Life stays fun and fresh when I decide to spend the day at the beach with friends or watch Juno with my cousin. But my tightly packed calendar starts to buckle at the seams when I take unplanned breaks. And even more so when I don't plan breaks into my life.

So, the other day I sat down and put my life down on paper. I wrote down my commitments (including time expectations), prioritized  them, and made some difficult decisions . I had to give up some projects that were really great but not appropriate given my time constraints and priorities. Its so hard to say NO to something that you've already said YES to because in essence you are letting someone down and admitting to a lapse in judgment. You're saying. "I was wrong. I though I could do this but I was not conscientious enough to ensure that I could take on this additional responsibility." 

My biggest problem is that everything seems incredibly important and deserving of my time. If I am completely honest with myself. I have to acknowledge that this perspective is a very conceited one. Honestly, organizations and people were functioning before me and will continue to do so after me. So I'm no longer going to do everything that gives back to the community anymore. I'll give other eager young people a chance. I'll focus on a select few instead.

The plus side to all of this is that I'm learning to recognize my limitations and behave accordingly. I'm also learning that it really is okay to say NO and it is okay to admit when I'm wrong. In fact, it necessary to do so. Now that I've initiated some tough conversations, its becoming easier to speak to people openly and honestly about my intentions and motivations. There are certainly more to come but I think I'm ready.  I'm happy I'm working this out before medical school. 

In the meantime, I'll get back to completing secondaries.